birthdays

Saturday May 27, 2006

Cumpleanos’es

I went to my third cumpleanos, or birthday party, tonight. (Note: there’s supposed to be an accent on the n, otherwise it means “anus” instead of “years,” but I can’t do an accent on this computer. Sorry to have to clarify but I know there are some Spanish speakers out there). These may not be typical parties b/c each of the kids belonged to one of the richest families in town, but they were all pretty similar so I guess I can make generalizations about the birthdays of the rich kids in Paraguay at least.

Lots of people are invited, and they rent chairs and tables from the church to set up in the lawn or in the cultural center in town. Dads are nowhere to be seen, it’s just moms and kids (and me). Upon entering, we’re greeted by the mom and birthday kid, give a kiss and hand over the present, which goes in a big bin of sorts. The rooms have been decorated super swanky, with birthday signs, centerpieces, a huge cake, crepe paper palm trees, tweety bird cut outs, and other stuff that is extreme even by US standards, and yet here must cost a fortune. We sit at little tables of 4 or 5, according to family (and me), and are served a plate of cookies to start. Then we get a little chocolate milk or soda. These are all served by the women in the family, probably the aunts of the birthday kid, who don’t sit down the whole time. They take pictures of birthday kid w/ mom, cousins, guests, etc. Then everyone gathers around the cake and while we sing Happy Birthday (well, Feliz Cumpleanos) and they take another picture, which must be strange looking b/c everyone’s mouths are open singing! Then there’s a version of a piñata that’s pretty funny – it’s a big balloon filled w/ flour, candy and toys. The kids all gather underneath, and then an adult pops the balloon w/ a huge kitchen knife!! Then it’s pretty typical, kids scrambling to get stuff (some covered w/ flour!). Tonight’s party had a separate piñata for girls and boys, I’m not too sure why. There’s also a goody bag of sorts, where each kid is given one toy apiece. Then the kids are back to the tables and play with the toys until we’re served cake, and once we’re done w/ the cake we leave. Seriously, half the people are gone from the party before the last ones have even been served. Sometimes people just take the cake to go. I almost forgot – at one party we got hotdogs!!! On the way out the kids get to grab a handful of balloons, and someone from the table gets to take home the centerpiece. Tonight we got lollipops too!

I’m trying to just report the facts, but I can’t get away from how these parties have bugged me, and I’m not sure why. How do we do birthdays in the States? Similar themes (tonight’s was Tweety bird), still a focus on getting presents and goody bags and cake. In the US usually it’s just kids, right? And a couple moms stay to help and we play pin the tail on the donkey or go bowling or something. So it was all about entertaining the kids. Hmmm… Maybe it just seems like these parties are for show. These families have to put on a big display, b/c they’re wealthy and proud and don’t want to be outdone, and really, it IS a great thing that they can celebrate in this way. But it seems weird when there’s so much poverty around. A little girl I sat w/ at today’s party said that today was her birthday too, and I know her family can’t afford to do anything special for her, much less throw a bash like that, and that must be hard. Of course, that’s true in the US too, I just never saw it. Also, it bugs me that no one talks to each other at these parties. The moms get all dressed up like it’s a big occasion, but then just sit there and don’t talk to any of the other moms. Sometimes they’re busy taking care of their kids of course, but mostly they just kind of sit there looking bored. I thought I’d love to go to these parties, that I’d meet lots of people and talk to my friends, but really I end up just feeling really awkward and bored the whole time. And I eat too much cake :(

Another issues has been the present for the birthday kid. At the first party it never occurred to me to bring something, and at the second one I just didn’t know what to do so I brought nothing. At tonight’s I shamed myself into making a card but I felt lame. It’s definitely expected to bring stuff, in fact families w/ 2 kids seem to bring 2 presents!! I don’t want to buy the kids toys, b/c the toys here are stupid and the kid gets tons of them anyway and I have no idea where I’d buy one. Plus there are zillions of kids here and I can’t be buying presents every week. But I think I have an idea – what if I give books for kids’ birthdays?? I can make them, or photocopy them, and it’s not too hard or expensive. It could even be fun! I don’t have to make up a book or draw pictures b/c I have a bunch from PC that I can just trace. I loved getting books about me when I was little, I bet I still have that “Lori’s Adventures w/ Snow White” one in my dad’s attic somewhere. The families here, even the rich ones, don’t seem to have any books in the house, and it would be something special, and important as well. I guess I better get started – they don’t give much notice on parties around here (or anything else for that matter). Ah, so people who’ve asked if they can send me stuff, simple children’s books in Spanish would be most welcome! (Mail sent in padded envelopes costs about $10)