Dating in Paraguay

January 24, 2007

I’ve been writing quite a few blogs recently, I think because it’s been rainy and cooler and so not so terrible to shut all the Windows and bust out the laptop. I’ve been recalling how much I loved the one sociology class I took in college, and cultural anthropology as well (not sure really what the difference is, both are the study culture, no?). The past few days have been full of thoughts of dating in Paraguay, not because I’m dating here but because several options and conversations have come up.

Back in training we learned how dating works here, though it’s hard to believe til you see it. There isn’t really dating it seems, you just go from meeting each other to being boyfriend/girlfriend, kinda like in fifth grade. The “courting,” especially in the campo, consists of visits with the family, specifically on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. Everyone thinks it’s weird that I don’t have a boyfriend, and while I would consider dating a Paraguayan it’s hard to find any who are single and my age and not sketchy.

For example, the school principal’s husband (I’ve heard that they’re divorced, but they live together so I think it might be more of an open marriage kind of thing) showed up at the high school the other day while I was waiting for my computer students to show up. He picked up a guitar and serenaded me with a song, and then asked me to teach him how to use the computer, all the while talking about how lovely I am and how the guys in America must be blind, etc. Never was he inappropriate, but the whole time I was hoping hoping hoping someone else would show up to class so I could get myself out of that awkward situation.

It does appear, though, that their might be some level in between meeting each other and being a couple. In Spanish, boyfriend is novio, and I thought that the translation in Guarani was chico-i. But in talking with a couple younger guys about whether they had novias, one balked at the concept of a girlfriend but then explained that he has a few chica-is, maybe girls he’s dating or hooking up with or trying to get with or something. It’s hard to figure it out exactly. Another guy talked of making “official visits” to one girl’s house, which still strikes me as funny in a 1950s sort of chaperoned visit way. They said that for guys it’s lame to be enamorado, in love, with a girl, that the other guys will make fun of you, which I think may be kind of similar to how we think of it in the US. Now I realize I should have explained the concept of a guy being “whipped,” but it didn’t occur to me at the time.

And it appears someone’s plotting to make “official visits” to my house. My neighbor asked me today if someone who wanted to talk to me should come to my house, and I was confused and said we’re talking now, do you have to come to my house? And she explained that someone specifically had asked her (as my neighbor and de facto family I guess) if he could come visit me. I was curious (and perhaps hopeful that a Paraguayan prince charming I have yet to meet was about to show up at my doorstep), and begged her to tell me who it was, and it appears that my would-be suitor is the ex-mayor of Tacuati!! A good guy, it seems, the one who switched parties to help the new mayor get elected, and he’s apparently incredibly rich, but he’s way older than I am and I doubt anyone I’d really take seriously. I laughed and told my neighbor she could tell him to come visit but not to get his hopes up. If he does come to visit it’d be a serious bit of gossip for the community, but I’m always up for meeting people and talking about their lives and my experiences here. We’ll see how much further than that it gets, and if he shows up at all. Tomorrow IS Thursday, though….