Some Reasons Why I'm a Little Scared to Visit the US

1. Sometimes I blow my nose on my shirt. I bet I shouldn’t do that there.
2. When faced with a treat such as twizzlers or chocolate, I tend to eat as much as I can with the thought that I might not get it again for a long time. But there I’ll be surrounded by that stuff for weeks and weeks, with little chance of resisting.
3. I don’t tend to have long conversations in English anymore. I forget words. And I’m gonna have to give a toast at the wedding!! Yikes!
4. I get really excited by things like asphalt and draught beer.
5. Without the roosters to wake me I might just sleep all day.
6. I’m used to being alone, alone, alone here, and all of a sudden I’ll be in the middle of friends and family to the extreme – great but likely overwhelming too.
7. When I talk about Paraguay sometimes I get so worried about whether I’m doing a good PR job. It’s okay for me to laugh about the roads here, but if you do it I may get defensive.
8. Vegas is always exciting, the single girl’s dream, right?? But I think I’ve lost whatever small amount of game I had before – it’s literally been years since I’ve been picking up guys in bars. And I was never that good at it to begin with. But what if Vegas is so overwhelming that I end up shut in my hotel room drinking terere and going to sleep at 7pm??
9. I’m 31 now and I have more grey hair than before, but I don’t like it when people notice. I only want to hear about positive changes
10. I, however, am now an expert at talking about other people as they walk by. It’ll be hard to avoid referring to people in terms such as “la rubia gordita,” the chubby blonde girl.
11. I’m kinda famous here. Strangers smile at me and give me gifts, and kids yell my name in the street. I bet they won’t do that there.
12. I’m supposed to be running a half marathon on July 1, and I’m honestly worried that I’ll be eating too much and training too little back home.
13. I’m going to be taking nice long hot showers for 18 days straight. It’ll be the pinnacle of my cleanliness, after that it’s all downhill for the whole next year.
14. There’s culture shock and reverse culture shock, jet lag and travel plans and wedding plans and binge drinking and hangovers. Gee, maybe I should just stay in Paraguay. Just kidding :)