Here’s a career thought..

Have I thought or written about this before? Anyway, I think in Paraguay I have once again fallen into the role of jack of all trades but master of none. I’ve had the opportunity to do lots of different work here – health education, teacher training, teaching English and computer skills, community-based projects, even a little disaster relief. But looking back I really don’t think I did a great job with any of it. And I’m not saying that to be modest or try to diminish what I did, but I think that in the end my impact was defined by kind of doing a lot of stuff only partway. I remember feeling that way when I worked for City Year – I had the opportunity to do a lot of great work that I enjoyed and could handle, but I wasn’t trained for any of it and kind of just made it up as I went along. I’m good at doing that, taking initiative and such, but it’d be nice to know I’m not only doing the best I can but actually doing a really good job. And maybe that’s why I get nostalgic for teaching – it’s the only time in my professional career when I’ve been really good at one thing: getting my kids to pass the US History Regents Exam. It turns out that I didn’t want to be good at that particular thing, so I’m glad I left when I did. But maybe that too is the reason why grad school still occasionally sounds appealing – I want to know that I am actually skilled at something, even if it’s just one thing. Otherwise I still feel like I’m 23 years old and just along for the ride.